Episode Recap      

The Official Portuguese Method (works for buffets, weddings, holidays, birthdays etc.)

Step 1: Count the number of guests.

Step 2: Double it.

Step 3: Double the amount of food again because it still doesn't seem like enough.

Step 4: Keep doubling until guests arrive.

Step 5: Throughout the party, continue offering to cook up just one more thing...

If breakfast is the most important meal of the day, we can assure you our peeps were not out there setting the world on fire by starting the day with old bread soaked in a decaf coffee. Or eating bowls of cornstarch. Can a girl get one nutrient please?! And it didn't get much better as the day went on, as Melissa also recounts the unfathomable tale of "sugar sandwiches" as after-school snacks (yes, plural!)...

We walk through the Portuguese food pyramid, except there are no section dividers. It's all carbs. With a side of carbs. For breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Discover the magic and miracles of soup. Weigh in on the dry bean saga. How much water does Jell-O need? And find out the secret ingredient that makes kids go crazy for hot dogs.

Speaking English means being assigned medical appointment and mail interpreting duties no matter how young you are. Melissa and Kelly first reflect briefly on their podcasting journey thus far and then recount stories of misinterpreting a major diagnosis, using craftsman tools to perform an at-home medical procedure, hand-written chain letters, how to get out of jury-duty, and more...

Dating the milkman. Dating in church. Dating abroad. Dating an infant. Dating your cousin. This episode captures immigrant family dating sagas across multiple generations. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Millennials who came of age during the technology boom of the late 90's and early 00's will also appreciate the discussion on cell phone use, jaw-dropping bills, dial-up internet, and party lines.

Getting picked up from school by vavô was always a treat, just be sure to first wipe your feet. Vavô's car interior was definitely covered in plastic. And he may have had the motor-vehicle reaction time of a slug, but his wit was quick. Our after school time was spent either doing homework at the bar of the local Portuguese social club (Kel) or watching MTV's spring break and Jerry Springer (Mel). Don't stop listening before you find out what happens if you want a little after school chestnut snack.

Harvest and press grapes, shoo away fruit flies, and consume wine with us in this episode. Learn what will get you banned from participating in the winemaking process. And you know we can't talk about our luscious grapevines without complimenting the Azorean green thumb. So green it has taken over the Christmas nativity scene. But wasn't Jesus born in the desert? Lastly, find out what not to put in your sangria if you want to survive the night!

Adventure with us between the US and Canada in a time before cell phones and GPS. Whatever you do, do not: (1) hide things in your glove compartment if you are going to need to open it at the border to get your documents, (2) use landmarks that are not visible at night for directions, (3) accidentally leave something valuable behind at a rest stop, and (4) complain that nobody helped you drive if you did not ask for help! And definitely don't miss the final story about what lengths the employees at Canada's Wonderland will go to retrieve a lost item...

We dig in to some traditional Azorean delicacies and the true cost of consumption. Sure the food may be cheap, but now I have to live with the mental image of my ham's last screams. Does the cost/benefit for picking and eating periwinkles check out? Is it worth getting fresh goat cheese delivered to your door before sunrise if you're going to think you're being robbed? Plus, find out which concert Mel saw for only 5 Euros (a steal!) in Vila Franca.

Vacationing in the Azores was a breeze with 5-star amenities such as BYOT (Bring-Your-Own-Toilet), corn husk mattresses, and one singular light bulb in the whole house. Plus, find out why Mel's mom had to wear an eye patch to the festa!